Growing Up~

Hmm...i dunno wad 2 say about this...when i was small i always wanted 2 grow up...then when i turned form 1 i never wanted to grow up anymore. Then this year i guess growing up has it's own good and bad points. I wanna grow u but i dun wanna grow up. I feel both at the same time. I dun wanna grow up coz i still wanna act like a child, to have someone hold me when i'm scared and to life my life without a single care in the world. But at the same time growing up is okay coz it brings me closer to 'him'...if you dunno who 'he' is then think emoish...starts with d and ends with h.

Yes, it's death. I dunno but i guess i kinda find death fascinating although scary at the same time. A friend of mine said to me once that "Death is like getting out of a car that you have been in for a long time or taking off a pair of tight-fitting clothes. The reason why people fear death is because it is unknown." I guess it's true. I used to fear death as i did not know what would happen to me when i died...but there's one point in my life that i became suicidal...and yes...death was VERY close to me at that time. Not many people know that but one of my friend managed to pull me out of that depression, that sad lonely excuse for an existence. What is life? i used to think. Somebody said this before (i won't say who)...

"To life without a reason is even worse than to have never been born"

Sounds familiar? I think otaku's would know who said that.^^. Okay...i feel wierd...how did a topic about growing up turn into a topic about suicidal? Oh well...anyway back to the topic...

They say December babies have Peter Pan syndrome...well Michael Jackson was a December baby apparently...well i dunno...i read it somewhere. Anyway i dunno la...i know that in a way i never wanna grow up. Growing up is full of pain...things get confusing...love gets in the way...People view a guy and a girl as a couple if they're together too much... i just wish life was simpler...i mean i hang out with guys all the while and they're my frens but love gets in the way~ it's so annoying when you see your best friend start having a gf and then ignores you and goes out with his gf instead. It's like they just push you aside. Growing up is painful. And it is harder 4 u to crossdress if you're an adult if compared to a child...

Well, dunno la..i just felt like writing that so oh well... Tata until my next post~